TIGER CURSED

Tiger Woods lost (again) at the U.S. Open.  This time he blamed his loss on a voodoo curse his ex-wife placed on him.

After Tiger birdied the eighth hole Sunday at the U.S. Open he  motioned dismissively with his right hand, as if to say: “You can keep it. Woods already had given up six shots to par in his final round.”

According to witnesses in the clubhouse, Tiger then raised his arms to the sky and reportedly yelled, “Damn you, Elin!”  Right after that, Tiger crumbled to the ground clutching his side.

PGA watchers said that this has been going on ever since Tiger’s life unraveled due to the revelation that he had numerous mistresses.  Rumors around the PGA say that Elin Nordegren has a “Swedish voodoo doll” that she sticks with pins (and sharpened golf tees) every time Tiger has a tournament.

And it’s working.

The U.S. Open marked another incredible fall for Woods, considering he was tied for the U.S. Open lead Saturday morning. His 75-73 finish extended his majors drought to four years.